CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
