So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Randomize
