We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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