he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
