And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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