his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
