You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
