its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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