i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
