i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
