dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Randomize
