It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
