i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
