i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
