Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
