I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
