i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
