So drunk, too bad you don't want this
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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