tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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