I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize