I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
