no. you can't hotbox the world.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
