Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
