This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
