This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
