She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize