Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Randomize
