I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
