just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
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