I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Randomize
