yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
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