i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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