Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
