they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
