the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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