Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
