The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
