I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize