pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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