Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Do vagina's smell?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I lost the right to judge tonight
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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