Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Is it because I queefed?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
