ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
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