Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize