just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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