but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
