Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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