just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize