Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
