Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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