dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
