Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Randomize
