i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
