a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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