Already got asked if we're dating
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize