Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
