My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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