Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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