i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize