come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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